illa tertia optatio.

once, my stride was quick and sure.

i walked straight,
toe to heal, toe to heal,
like this boy in a book
and that felt right.

but come sunday,
they put me in patent leather shoes
with tiny, little training heels
and white hose always slipping off
my thin, little learning hips—
and mommy will be mad
if i rip around set of stockings,
if i scuff these shiny shoes.

i wonder how mad she would have been
walking in on you and me
under the covers
with your hands on me.
i wore the dress you picked.

i wish i had kept walking like a boy.


be sure to stare at my ass—

no, right now.
when i’ve had enough whiskey that
i can feel the earth spin beneath us,
when my head is full
   of how deeply you cut
   with those words that prove
   my name has no place in your heart.

wait until i’m falling up the stairs,
until i’m crawling from the room,
until i’m crying in the bathroom,
and then be sure to tell everyone
how you’d kiss me,
but never talk—
   never ever talk
   to me because then
   i might mistake you.


I can’t stop thinking about hurting myself.




I colored a couple free PSDs.  Message me (here or #1862) if you’d like either of these because I’m probably not going to do anything with them.  They’re pretty simple, but I thought maybe someone might like them?  I’m really horrible at coming up with ideas for markings.

They’re both free psds? I know where the first one is but I’ve never seen the second and I love those antlers :<

Jazz made it.  It’s a p great PSD, too.

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